It just hit me that I never wrote a blog about my Big Chop Experience =( ...
( I have the vids posted on youtube if you want to see me actually cutting all my hair off )
- I braced myself by reading a scripture ( a random one that I landed on when I opened my Bible, I feel bad I don't remember it )
- I said a prayer
- I got scared again, and prayed again
- I recorded a video for youtube, and the power in my house almost went out. It was the hottest, sunniest day ever and all of a sudden it started to storm viciously when I decided I wanted to cut. I almost thought that was a sign not to cut my hair lol
- I got scared, AGAIN, and prayed again.
- I decided I was ready to do it, and applied some ORS mixed with castor oil so that my curls would stand out from the relaxed ends.
- I waited for the curls to come, and then did my first snip !
- It took me almost 4 hours to do my whole head lol
-Afterwards I shampooed my hair clean
- I ended up not being confident enough to wear my TWA out the house for the first 4 days. I wore my wig to work for the rest of that week.
-My Mom was soo hurt that I cut my hair. She supported my decision to go natural, but I don't think she ever believed I would really stick with it. She thought I would relax once my hair got longer, and it didn't help I was about to cut off all the progress that she paid for lol ( she gave me the seed money for all of my products, and anytime I wanted something, she bought it) . I was happy to do the BC for myself, but My Mom is my best friend and I felt bad that I let her down. I walked around my house with my scarf on because I didn't want her or my sisters to see my hair, they already tried to talk me out of cutting it. She didn't talk to me for about a day either, she was sooo hurt that I cut my hair lol.. It's funny now because it's grown on her, but at the time I felt like I had betrayed her lol
- The day after the Big Chop, I felt so good to be free of that relaxer !!! I didn't like the way my hair looked though. I felt like I looked like a man. Even though I was on Cloud 9 from the rush of the BC, the reality that my hair was gone set in. I didn't cry once over that hair, but I had alot of "now what??" moments. I thought about sew-ins or micros as a quick fix so that I wouldn't have to look at my hair... .....Cutting my hair off felt almost like a bad breakup.... After being in a bad relationship for so long, you feel empowered that you take the initiative to rid yourself of the stress, headaches, and drama !! At the same time, you are scared because it's a whole new world to you that you're no longer familiar with and you must take baby steps before you can "run" again.
This is probably the lowest moment on my short lived natural hair journey, I took a picture of myself. It was July 30, the day after chopping. I was sad in this pic, but not because of that relaxer !! I just didn't want short hair at all =(
I was hurtin ya'll !! lol ...
But things got much better after a few days !!!
On a much lighter note,
-Praise God that by day 4 I did a cowash with the conditioner method and I actually liked the way my hair looked. I felt more confident with my hair and started playing around in my makeup for the first time lol.. I ended up wearing my TWA out in public for the first time, and I actually felt GOOD about myself.
-The next workday, my coworkers all said how much they liked my hair. That really made it alittle better, bc the men liked it as well as some of the ladies who have gorgeous relaxed hair and no intentions of going natural lol..
-My students also loved my hair !! That was the BIGGEST surprise of all lol.. I work with 3-5 year olds, so you already know they can only be innocently, but BRUTALLY honest. They will tell you all about yourself and hurt your feelings with their honesty because they don't know how to protect anybody's ego lol...
-The most outspoken girl in my class ( 3 years old) yelled out in a pitch quiet assembly room of about 100 students, "I LIKE YOUR HAIR MISS MICHELE !!! " I was slightly embarrassed that she called me out in front of everyone, but sooo flattered at the same time !!
- And my absolute favorite recap of all, one of my boys has a HUGE crush on me ( you know how little boys are with their teacher lol ) and his mother even told me afer work that her son was "smitten" by me ( I blushed so hard and turned beet red when she told me that) ... Well I went to help another student tie their shoes, and while I knelt down to tie their sneaker, he felt all up in my hair !!! Running his fingers all up in it lmbo... I asked him what he was doing, and was he having fun? ... He looked up at me with the most precious smile and dimples and said loudly , " YOUR HAIR FEELS LIKE FUR ! " .. I had to excuse myself from my class and laugh out loud in the hallway. I came back in a minute later and asked him if that was a good or bad thing. He looked at me with that adorable smile and said, " THAT'S GOOD !!! " ... That is my favorite memory of the whole experience =)
Overall, I enjoyed the experience !! I have photos in my fotki album ( just finished making it yesterdaY !!! ) from the beginning of my HJ up until now as my first month natural, including ones of me with half of my hair cut off like this lol :
I'll be updating it every 2 weeks so I would love some other avid fotki ladies to add me as a friend so I can follow you ! It is becoming very addictive lol.. My username is ShelleyBean729 and the passwords are "runts" .. I would appreciate your comments !!
I'll do a progress blog w/pics on here as well.. It won't be anything miraculous, but hopefully it will inspire others who want to transition or do their BC .. HHJ and thank you for reading everyone !